Hot Spring Madness
by BikkyTheGreat
Summary: A new misson has fallen upon Shikamaru. Will him and his friends be able to handle to must diffucult mission ever? So troublesome, even Gaara of the Sand and his brother Kankuro to come and help the 7 Konoha boys out? Who or what is going to appear at the
1. A New Light

Bikky: So after not writing in a long time. Having Lappie get a brand new hard drive, still not finishing my "Life at Central" I all of sudden got in the mood to write a BRAND SPANKING NEW STORY! Mwhahahaha!

Shikamaru: You're so troublesome.

Bikky: Awe! Shikamaru! I love you! ((Hugs him)) I decided I'm going to write a story all about you!

Shikamaru: Lucky me. ((sighs))

Bikky: What's with with troublesome sigh! You don't love me! Wai!

Shikamaru: And this is why girls are nothing but troublesome.

Chouji: Bikky-Chan wants everyone reading this that she doesn't own Naruto, or anything related close to Naruto.

Bikky: But I own the official Naruto Headband!

Shikamaru: What a troublesome cos-player.

Bikky: And my Akatsuki coat.

Chouji and Shikamaru: ((sweat drop))

Bikky: Then there's my Tenten outfit... ((voice trails off))

Shikamaru: So what are you doing here, Chouji?

Chouji: Bikky-Chan is buying me lunch. You want to come, Shikamaru?

Shikamaru: Sure. But what's with the chan?

Chouji: It's part of my contract. So all you readers enjoy.

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In the wonderful land of Konoha, there was a handful of ninjas that'll pop in out of this story, but more importantly, our hero, Nara Shikamaru.

"I wouldn't call me a hero. That's too troublesome."

Right. So our lazy hero, was doing what he did best. Laying on that rooftop, with his homie, Chouji, watching the clouds drift by.

"You need a life."

Sh! The story already began! Get to work boys!

"Why doesn't she make her own character, and come into Konoha?" Chouji asked his best friend in the entire world, Shikamaru.

"The readers don't care about that. They want fan service." Shikamaru answered.

"Is that why we're going to the hot spring?" Chouji ate a handful of potato chips.

"Yep. But I much rather stay here." Shikamaru sighed.

"HEY YOU GUYS! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE! DATTEBAYO!" The ever lovable, Uzumaki Naruto entered on the scene.

"Ah. You're being too loud." Shikamaru told the hyper ninja.

"But you guys! The misssssiiiiiiiiiiiooooooonnnnnn!" Naruto whined.

"It's a troublesome mission."

"But if we accomplish it, then I can go train with Ero-Sennin, so I can get Sasuke back! I promised Sakura-Chan!"

"Hey! What are you three doing? We're going to be late!" Kiba yelled up to them, which was followed by an Akamaru bark.

"I heard a couple guys from the Wind Country were coming." Shino spoke up, as he popped up form behind Naruto.

"AAAHHHHEEEEE! DON'T DO THAT, DATTEBAYO!"

"Hurry! Gai-Sensei will be proud in the speed we can finish this mission." Lee jumped down next to the other Konoha boys.

"As long as we don't have to sing." Neji sighed. Everyone just stopped and stared at the Hyuuga boy of the branch family.

"I think fan girls would want Neji to sing." Chouji gracefully broke the silence, and continued eating his chips.

"I want to sing, Dattebayo. That way I can win Sakura-Chan's heart!" Just forget about her Naruto. She's annoying.

"A comrade is a comrade." Shino spoke up. Sorry, I'll keep my comments to myself. Sheesh Shino.

"Who cares about singing? I want to go to the hot spring. Did you look at the brochure? They have DDR!" Kiba would've wag his tail, if he was a dog, so Akamaru did that for him, with his cute bark thing.

"I heard the minerals in the hot spring can relax your muscles." Lee added.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"By relaxing your muscles, your body goes into top form. Gai-Sensei says relaxing is also a part of training."

"Are the Jounins coming?" Neji changed the subject.

"Only if you're going to sing." Shikamaru answered.

"We can put on a dinner and a show." Chouji suggested.

"I'm not singing or dancing." Shino spoke up. But sweetie, you already did in the one filler episode.

"We're not talking about that." Shino's glare could've been seen through his sun glasses. Ouch. Moving on.

"I think this whole mission is troublesome."

"But think if we told the Fifth that we don't do it." Chouji spoke the words that everyone needed to hear, as a cold shudder doomed all around the boys.

"So when do we head out, Shikamaru?" Naruto asked.

"Now I guess." He finally sat up, and rather did a fan service than suffer Tsunde's wrath.

"That's the power of youth!" Lee pinged with his thumbs up.

The seven boys of Konoha did their ninja magic, and quickly skipped over to the hot spring.

"Ninjas don't skip." Shino pushed up on his glasses.

Fine. The jumped from tree to tree to the hot spring. Better?

"Yes." Now that it's Shino approved, the boys JUMPED to the hot spring.

"How do you put this on, dattebayo?" Naruto was trying to put on this traditional Japanese robe thingys that you wear at the hot spring. Anyone who as watched any anime, with the exception of FMA ((since there's no hot spring episode)) know what I'm talking about. I hope.

"Idiot. Relax." Kiba barked at him, and went over to help Naruto put on his thingy.

"You're really good at this, Kiba."

"Yeah well, it's not that hard." He grunted.

"Then could you help me?" Neji squeaked. Everyone looked at last year's number one rookie.

"My arm is stuck." Neji protested. Kiba sighed, and went to help Neji as well.

"Ha, ha, ha! Looks like I'm not the only one that doesn't know how to put this on! Dattebayo!"

"You tell anyone, and I will defeat you." Neji glared him down. Then he went into regular Neji mode, and had his arms crossed, as he leaned against a wall.

"I like it better when you're out of character, dattebayo." Me too, Naruto. Me too.

"There you go." Shino placed all his chakra bugs into a tank. Sorta like an ant farm tank.

"What are you doing?" Naruto looked at him.

"I don't want them to drown." Shino answered.

"Huh?"

"His insects wouldn't be able to survive in the hot water for a long time." Shikamaru explained it to Naruto.

"Oh. I get it. What use is Shino, if all his bugs died?"

"Hey! Be quiet!" Kiba whacked Naruto in the head.

"I'm not a useless comrade." Shino stood up, and went to the hot spring.

"Great. Now he's mad." Kiba moaned.

"How can you tell?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Are you really that insensitive to your teammates feelings?" Chouji asked him.

"Huh?"

"A teammate is someone you should know better than yourself. A teammate is your best friend. The only one who'll be able to save your life." Chouji explained it in small words for Naruto.

"It's important that you understand what your teammate is thinking, Naruto-Kun. All of your missions depend on it." Lee spoke up.

"If you know exactly how your teammate is going to react to a situation, things could get worse or better. If you teammate is going to act ill-natured to a cause, then it's your job to make sure that reaction doesn't happen." Shikamaru added on.

"You're confusing me."

"Don't waste your breath on a drop out." Neji told his comrades.

"WHAT!" Naruto turned to him.

"I'm going in the spring." Shikamaru sighed, and headed toward the spring with Chouji.

"Right. Relaxing is a part of training. It's no good if you train so much, your body breaks down." Lee smiled, and also headed to the spring.

"Bark, bark!" Akamaru wagged his tail.

"Right Akamaru, once we bath we can play some DDR!" Kiba smiled, and so the boy and his dog went the hot spring.

"Are dogs even allowed?" Naruto asked.

"Who knows." Neji sighed, and went to join the others.

"Hey! Don't leave me alone, dattebayo!"

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"You can't see the clouds from here."

"Maybe you can see them on the roof of the bath house." Chouji comforted his buddy.

"There's no time for that." Shikamaru sighed, as he was thinking of the list of things to do for their mission.

"What time are they do?" Shino asked Shikamaru.

"From now to three days." Shikamaru answered.

"That's why need to make sure our bodies are in top form." Lee had a serious look on his face.

"What's Godaime thinking? If they attack, there's no way we'll be able to hold them down until back up arrives." Shikamaru leaned his back to look up at the cloudless sky.

"Don't worry. Gai-Sensei will make sure back up arrives before it's too late." Lee tried to comfort our lazy genius.

"I'm sure you'll think of something." Chouji told his friend.

"You just tell us how to attack." Neji spoke up.

"You must have faith in your comrades. Also having faith in yourself."

"We just have to hold them off until our back up arrives, so we'll be all right. Right Akamaru?"

"Bark, bark!"

"I suppose." Shikamaru went into his deep thinking stage.

"Uh, hey. What are you guys talking about?" Naruto asked them.

"You don't know?" Kiba slowly turned to him.

"Know what?"

"Naruto-Kun, you were there at the mission briefing." Lee tried to help Naruto remember.

"That's right! Granny Tsunde was talking, and I was thinking what kind of ramen I wanted for dinner!"

Everyone sweat dropped.

"What?" Naruto looked at his friends.

Before anyone had the chance to brief him, 'GO!' By Flow started to play. The spring doors open, to show a dancing Karasu.

"We are fighting dreamers!" Kankuro sang.

"Takami wo mezashite." Karasu sang also.

"Fighting dreamers!" Kankuro continued.

"Narifuri kamawazu." Karasu followed.

"Fighting dreamers!" Kankuro repeated.

"Shinjiru ga mama ni." Karasu sang on cue.

"Oli, oli, oli! Oh- Just my way!" They sang together.

The Konoha nins just stared at Kankuro singing J-Rock with his puppet.

"Make him stop." A black aura came from behind the Konoha ninjas.

GRRAAAHHHHH!" Naruto screamed, and jumped onto Kiba.

"Get off of me!" Kiba tried not to fall into the steaming water.

"Your speed has improved." Lee told Gaara.

"He's been singing with his stupid puppet since we left." Gaara looked like his was about to kill something. Or someone.

"Isn't a three day hike?" Neji asked.

"YES!" Gaara looked like his was about to let his demon out on Kankuro, or so the Konoha nins hoped it was on Kankuro.

"Kankuro, you're annoying Gaara." Shino turned to Kankuro.

"... Why are bathing with your sunglasses?" Kankuro looked at Shino.

"Yeah, why do YOU bath with your sunglasses?" Kiba asked him.

"It is a little weird." Neji told Shino.

"Even I took off my weights." Lee added.

"I left my gourd in the changing room." Gaara stated.

"I'm not allowed to have my chips in the bath house."

"I know you like your mysterious look, but that's a bit weird." Shikamaru told Shino.

"Totally!" The other boys, with the exception of Naruto, turned into valley girls to sing in unison.

"Kakashi-Sensei bathes with a towel around his face." Naruto said.

"Yeah, but that's so you don't see his face." Shikamaru told Naruto.

"How is that different than Shino and his glasses?" Naruto asked.

"Because he took his mask off!" Neji flung his arms in the air. Then went back into regular Neji mode, and crossed his arms.

"So why do you wear sunglasses?" Kankuro asked, as he went into the bath water.

"You're cool enough without them." Chouji told Shino.

"And mysterious enough as well." Lee added.

"Even I don't know why you wear them." Kiba confessed to Shino.

"We're all friends here." Our Hero reminded Shino.

"The truth is..." Shino began.

"Go on!" Gaara nudge Shino.

"The truth is... KIBA HAS A DOG IN THE BATH HOUSE!"

"DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!" Kiba shouted back.

"Did you miss the sign? No animals!" Shino pushed up on his glasses.

"... Is that the reason you put your bugs into an ant farm?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes. Unlike Kiba, I follow the rules." Shino mocked.

"But Akamaru wants to bath too!" Kiba whined.

"So do your clone thing." Gaara said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh. I didn't think of that." Kiba blinked, and Akamaru transformed into Kiba.

"Doesn't change the fact he's still a dog." Shino pouted.

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Bikky: I think that's good for right now. Such a great line to end on.

Chouji: But we never found out why Shino wears his glasses.

Bikky: Maybe it'll be in the next episode. Maybe not.

Shikamaru: They're chapters.

Bikky: This should be in the filler arc! Not that boring stuff, like the stupid Star- Hoshi thing, that I totally skipped over.

Shikamaru: You skipped a lot of the filler arc that was more than an episode long.

Bikky: Because they're long and boring! I like the smelling bug one. That was cool! Go Hinata! Kick some butt and take names!

Chouji: We weren't in that one.

Bikky: I know. But my favorite thing about the filler arc is that no Sakura, and no emo boy!

Shikamaru: His name is Sasuke.

Bikky: Yes, yes. Uchiha Sasuke. Completely emo because Itachi paints his finger nails purple.

Shikamaru: Where do you get these crazy, troublesome ideas?

Bikky: By hanging out with my friends, yo!

Shikamaru: You do know, you should change your name, change your address, and hide out for a while. I think Shino and Neji might be a bit angry.

Chouji: And maybe Gaara. You made him sound like a valley girl.

Bikky: I made everyone do it.

Chouji: Except Naruto.

Bikky: Well he was thinking about something else.

Shikamaru: I'm ending it here. Please leave a review. Ja ne.


	2. Salt

Bikky: Hello all for my second installment of "Hot Spring Madness!"

Kiba: You just want me to read from the index cards?

Bikky: We're on. ((sweat drop))

Kiba: Really?! Akamaru, we're on!

Akamaru: Bark, bark!

Kiba: ((reads index cards)) Do I have to call you Bikky-Chan? That's a little weird.

Bikky: Chouji did it.

Kiba: That's because you bribed him.

Akamaru: Bark, bark.

Kiba: What? Really?

Akamaru: Bark, bark.

Bikky: Maybe you should translate for those who don't speak dog.

Kiba: Akamaru says that Bikky-Chan will give us a free game of DDR if we do the disclaimer. Basically, Bikky-Chan doesn't own the characters, the story, or Flow. She just decided to put down this crazy idea from the cast of Naruto.

Akamaru: Bark, bark!

Kiba: Akamaru also wants you all to know to leave a review, or else we'll sic Orochimaru on you. That's deep.

Bikky: Especially if your a little boy.

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"This time I'll win!" Kiba grunted.

"So which one is the real Kiba?" Naruto asked, as he looked at Kiba and Akamaru, who was still transformed as Kiba playing DDR.

"I am. Isn't obvious?" The Kiba on the right bellowed. "Arg! Look what you made me did, knuckle head!"

"KNUCKLE HEAD?!" Naruto shouted.

"Hey. Keep it down. We're not the only ones staying here." Shikamaru scolded him, as he moved his shougi piece.

"How can you play that thing by yourself?" Naruto asked; looking at Shikamaru.

"Asuma-Sensei isn't here, and it's not like you would know what to do." He flatly told Naruto.

"WHAT?!"

"Neji might be good at that kind of thing." Lee told Shikamaru.

"I figure that too, but he's on watch duty now." Shikamaru sighed, and moved another piece.

"DON'T IGNORE ME!" Naruto screeched.

"When is dinner?" Chouji asked his friend.

"Not until six." Shikamaru answered.

"Then I'm going to train." Lee grabbed a white towel, and hung it around his neck, as he left the room.

"Where did Gaara go?" Naruto realized that they wouldn't pay attention to him, and went to go bother Kankuro, who was polishing Karasu.

"He's on the roof." Kankuro answered.

"What's he doing there, dattebayo?"

"I don't know. I'm not Gaara." Wow, I'm so glad you know that, Kankuro!

"Well aren't you two brothers?" Naruto pathetically asked him.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I always understand him." Kankuro looked up at the ninja boy.

"Feh." Naruto pouted, and went to go look for someone else to bother. His eyes saw Shino in the corner, with black squiggly lines over him.

"I think I'll see what Gaara is up to." Naruto walked pass Shino.

"Is it because I bathe with my sunglasses, that you're going to ignore me?"

"Uh." Naruto bugged out.

"I don't wear them, trying to be cool." Shino continued on.

"Eh?"

"Shino, that drop out doesn't even know his left from his right." Neji entered the room.

"WHAT!?" Naruto went demon, and shouted at Neji.

"So troublesome." Shikamaru couldn't concentrate on his shougi.

"The area is clear. What do we do now?" Neji asked Shikamaru.

"NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!" Kiba's cries rang throughout the room.

"What's wrong?!" Gaara jumped down from the roof.

"Akamaru, you win again!" Kiba sniffed. Everyone sweat dropped at the crazy ninja.

"I stopped my sand art for this?!" Gaara shouted. The eerie quietness now moved to Gaara.

"My sand art. Like my desert coffin." He tried to explain. Or cover up. Not really sure on this one.

"I did it!" Lee ran into the room.

"Did what?" Neji raised an eyebrow at his comrade.

Lee pulled out a Pac-Man old school console. You know, those from back in the days. My older sister had one of Mrs. Pac-Man.

"I beat Neji's high score!" Lee showed his brand new high score to his friends. A dark cloud flew over to Neji. Lee had finally beaten him in something.

"I don't believe it." Neji sighed to himself.

"Believe it! You're a loser!" Naruto laughed.

Gaara used his sand to sweep up Naruto.

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DATTEBAYO?!"

"Saving you." Gaara simply answered, as Neji turned super saiyian; if he was a saiyian.

"Let's take another bath before dinner." Chouji suggested.

"I agree. It'll loosen up the air in here." Shikamaru looked at his team.

"Understood." Shino pushed up on his glasses.

Slowly everyone moved to the hot spring in a huddle mass.

"And then he tried to take a cookie without paying! Can you believe it?" A voice was heard from the springs.

"What kind of guy talks like that, dattebayo?" Naruto asked, as the voice was heard before seen.

"And what kind of guy says "dattebayo" after every sentence?" Neji shot back.

"Let's play nice kids." Lee told them, before Naruto flipped an omelet. And yes, I just made that up.

Kids?" Neji raised an eye brow.

The gang reached to the springs to see two bodies soaking in the water.

"Why are you such a loser?" The other person asked.

Then the figures came into full view.

"GRAHHH!!!! ITS SASUKE'S BROTHER!!!" Naruto shouted, as an Itachi looked at him.

"The Akatsuki!?" Shikamaru growled.

"So that's the guy, Gai-Sensei fought." Lee looked at Kisame.

"You want to fight?" Kisame snarled.

"We're not fighting. We're on vacation." Itachi corrected Kisame.

"But Itachi-Sama!" Kisame protested.

"No buts. I've worked hard for this vacation, and I'm not letting your brawls ruin it for me. Right now, we're normal civilians enjoying a vacation at a hot spring." Itachi scolded.

"I suffered Kankuro singing for THIS?!" Gaara shouted. Everyone turned to look at him.

"You listen here! Our mission was to stop you guys, and now you're telling us that you're on VACATION?! What kind of S-Class criminals go on vacation?!" Everyone duck! Gaara lost it!

"We take vacation." Kisame idiotically answered.

"Moron." Itachi sighed to himself.

Everyone slowly stepped away from Gaara.

"I hate it when he gets like this." Sweat dripped down Kankuro's face.

"RUN AWAY!" Kiba screamed, and he and Akamaru ran back into the bath house.

"This is bad." Shikamaru twitched.

"Grah! I hate you all! You will all die!" Gaara cried.

"He's your brother, can't you do something; dattebayo?!"

"Not when he gets like this!" Kankuro replied back to Naruto.

"Itachi-Sama, it's the one tail!" Kisame yelled, pointing at Gaara.

"I'm not working." Itachi huffed.

"But Itachi-Sama!"

"My bath is ruined now. I'm going to get a massage." Itachi pouted, and got up, walked away to get his much needed massage.

"ITACHI-SAMA!!!!" Kisame's cries were useless.

"I HATE YOU!" Gaara bit Kisame's hand.

"OW!!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Kisame ran around the spring.

"I'm going to play shougi." Shikamaru sighed.

"I'll see if dinner is ready yet." Chouji followed his friend out.

Neji and Shino looked at each other, and also left the spring. Watching Kiba lose to his dog was more peaceful then a berserk Gaara.

"Naruto-Kun, we should stop him." Lee turned to the ninja.

"Huh? We do we have to do it?" Naruto asked flatly.

"Because it's the way of the ninja!" Lee pinged.

"It's useless. Only Temari can snap him out of this." Kankuro sighed.

"Temari-San?" Lee asked.

"Yeah. I don't understand it either."

"Then we'll just try, dattebayo!" Then Naruto charged at Gaara, and tried to rip his fangs off of Kisame's arm.

"OW! OW! WHAT ARE DOING?! THAT'S MAKING IT HURT WORSE!!!"

Lee and Kankuro just sweat dropped watching tailed demons dancing with Kisame.

"I think I'm going to train now." Lee realized it was pointless to try anything.

"Yeah. Maybe I'll challenge that Shino guy to a match." Then Kankuro and Lee left the spring.

"Wait! Don't leave, dattebayo!" Naruto wailed, as he was being dragged along with Gaara in circles.

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At dinner time, everyone sat in an awkward silence.

"Kisame, you can't keep the badger." Itachi looked at his fish freak partner, with Gaara still chewing on his arm.

"But Itachi-Sama, he won't let go." Kisame sniffed.

"You! Kyuubi, pass the salt." Itachi looked across the table to Naruto.

"My name is Naruto, dattebayo." Naruto mumbled.

"Not to mention it's rude to point your chop sticks." Lee told Itachi.

"Why are you guys eating dinner with us?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Itachi-Sama says we're on vacation." Good job Kisame, you can be repetitive!

"I know that, but... never mind." Shikamaru decided it was going to be more work than it was worth it.

"I think it's fun having everyone eating dinner together." Chouji smiled.

"That's because we don't have to pay for the meal." Neji responded.

"Salt." Itachi tried once more.

"Hey, you want seconds, Akamaru?" Kiba put down another plate of sushi on the ground to feed the dog.

"At least you learned he's not allowed to eat at the table." Shino flatly said, as he got another helping of rice.

"Man! Did you all see the ramen they have here?" Naruto grinned.

"You should eat some of the sushi too." Lee told the bright orange nin.

"Eh hee, hee. Don't worry. I will." Naruto chuckled at the green beast in training.

"Gaara, would you like some ramen with your fish?" Kankuro asked his brother.

"I'M NOT A FISH!" Kisame looked at the puppet man.

"Yes!" Gaara slithered like a creepy demon beast.

"Here." Kankuro handed him the bowl he made. Gaara took the bowl, and inhaled it faster than Naruto, and went back to gnawing on Kisame.

"Why do you have to eat me? Itachi-Sama!" Kisame tugged at his partner.

"Salt!" Itachi twitched.

"Hey after dinner, I was thinking about running 300 laps around the spring, anyone want to join me?" Lee asked.

"Sorry, Akamaru and I are going on a walk." Kiba answered.

"I'm doing my own training." Neji answered.

"I'm going to look for some new insects."

"That's too troublesome." Shikamaru sighed.

"I'm going to look at clouds with Shikamaru." Chouji answered.

"Maybe I'll come. I don't want have deal with Gaara all night." Kankuro.

"Why do you work so hard, Fuzzy Brows?" Naruto asked.

"I'M NOT ASKING FOR THE SALT AGAIN!" Itachi slammed his hands down on the table.

"Eh?" Naruto freaked.

"He did ask you for the salt, Naruto-Kun." Lee reminded.

"I don't remember that, dattebayo."

"Arg! SHARIGAN!" Itachi made Naruto hand him the salt. "Thank you." Itachi huffed, and went back to normal, aloof Itachi mode.

"Always causing trouble." Shikamaru sighed.

"Wh-what just happened?" Naruto blinked.

"YOU GOT SERVED, SON!" Kankuro did the hand motion thing.

"I thought I told you never do that AGAIN!" Gaara sounded creepier than last time.

"Sorry." Kankuro cleared his throat, and continued eating his dinner.

"And I thought Gai-Sensei was strange." Neji sighed to himself.

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Bikky: 7 pages! yay! Not as long as the other one, but didn't know what else to write.

Kiba: I thought this story was about Shikamaru.

Bikky: It is. Somehow.

Kiba: I think either Gaara or Itachi got most of the spot light.

Bikky: I love Itachi! ((huggles Itachi))

Akamaru: Bark, bark.

Kiba: I agree. Akamaru says that Bikky is very weird, and we're leaving. So you should also leave a review, because Bikky is strange, and it's best to smile and move on.

Bikky: MEANIE! ((Throws a pillow at the Kiba, who's running away)) GET BACK HERE! Bye, bye! ((runs after Kiba))


	3. Donuts

Bikky: Guten Tag! Wie geht's es euch? Es geht mir gut! Wir haben Neji für Heute!

Neji: Stop speaking german!

Bikky: Fine. pouts I said good day, how are you all doing? I'm doing good. We have Neji for today.

Neji: Hn. So why am I here?

Bikky: To give this disclaimer. Duh. Say hi to Wifey for me.

Neji: Why me?

Bikky: Do it. ((points gun at him))

Neji: Fine. I'm not calling you Chan. Hyper-Weirdo Girl here wants you to know she doesn't own Kishimoto's Naruto characters. Thank God!

Bikky: I think you better behave.

Neji: Bikky- happy?

Bikky: Very.

Neji: She just owns this crazy idea, because she needs to sleep for a very long time.

Bikky: I'm not calling you over anymore.

Neji: Fine by me. I'm here for Crys-Chan. Leave a review, or else you'll get shot.

Bikky: And this is your destiny.

Neji: ...

Bikky: ENJOY!

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After dinner, the boys went back to the room.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Naruto cried.

"What now?" Shikamaru sighed.

"What's our mission again, dattebayo?"

"Capture the Akatsuki." Shikamaru replied heavily.

"Okay. Then, WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?!" Naruto pointed to Itachi and Kisame.

"Your sand beast ate my arm." Kisame sniffed.

"Some S-Class criminals." Neji sighed.

"How am I suppose to get beauty rest, if you all are talking?" Itachi glared.

"Forgive them, they mean well." Lee smiled.

"I think I have to agree with Naruto on this one." Shikamaru sighed.

"Fear not! We've come for back up! Hnn!" Deidara burst in the room, with Tobi behind him. Itachi let out a moan of displeasure.

"Hello Kisame-San, Itachi-San!" Tobi innocently waved.

"Hey Tobi." Kisame replied.

"You brats won't get away with this!" Deidara pointed at our Hero Squad.

"... Whatever." Shikamaru laid down.

"Shikamaru!" Naruto cried.

"What?" Our amazing hero looked at the Kyuubi Boy.

"They're the bad guys!" Naruto danced.

"How about those 500 laps?" Kankuro turned to Lee.

"To the sunset!" Lee pinged, as he ran out, while Kankuro slowly followed.

"This is stupid." Neji huffed, and left the room.

"I'm thirsty." Gaara went to the kitchen. Don't know how he got out of character so bad in the last chapter, but it sure was funny.

"That was all your doing." Shino spoke up. Sorry. I'll try to control myself next time.

"Hey, hey, HEY!" Deidara cried.

"Do you think Asuma-Sensei will buy us dinner once we're done?" Chouji asked his friend.

"Doubtful, but we can try." Shikamaru smiled.

"Why are you all ignoring me; hnn?" Deidara whined.

"Shut up." Itachi growled.

"But Itachiiiiiii!" Deidara tugged at his coat.

"Deidara-San, I don't think you should do that." Tobi warned. Oh, how right you are Tobi, my man. How right you are.

"And what would a newbie know?" Deidara scoffed.

"Go away!" Itachi kicked him down.

"They're fighting among themselves; dattebayo?"

"Bark, bark." Akamaru tried to get Kiba's attention.

"Yeah, let's go back to the springs. You coming Shino?" Kiba turned to friend.

"Sure." Shino pushed up on his glasses.

"So why do you bathe in sunglasses?" Kiba tried once more.

"No dogs allowed." Shino told him, as he slammed the door in Kiba's face.

"Ow." Kiba rubbed his nose.

"I'm so confused." Naruto sighed.

"You should just ignore them." Chouji told him.

"I think I'll go train; dattebayo." Naruto sadly said, as he slowly left the room. Thus leaving Chouji and Shikamaru alone with the crazy Akatsuki.

"Why are we left to baby sit?" Shikamaru miffed.

"We could get desert." Chouji suggested.

"I say let's go." Shikamaru nodded, as they left the room.

"WAIT!!!!" Deidara cried. "They're getting away!"

"Some vacation." Itachi muttered to himself.

"Maybe we should leave Deidara-San, and go get ice cream." Tobi smiled... if you could see it through the mask.

"Itachi-Sama says we're on vacation, so he's not working!" Kisame explained to Deidara.

"But we should catch them while their guard is down!" Deidara protested.

"But Itachi-Sama said..." Kisame argued.

"Can we leave both of them here?" Itachi turned to Tobi. Cause let's face it, Tobi is awesome!

"Sure!" Tobi chirped, and then they snuck out leaving Deidara and Kisame to bicker.

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"This is really good ice cream." Tobi exclaimed. He's a very happy boy.

"I think it might be better than the little shop in Konoha." Chouji remarked.

"Really? I should try it out!" Tobi gleamed. The boys just stared at him. "What?" Tobi blinked.

"An S-Class criminal walking into Konoha..." Shikamaru try hinting.

"I should've went on vacation by myself." Itachi sighed to himself.

"But this is so much fun, Itachi-San!" Tobi sang.

"This is troublesome."

"Listen, you should enjoy it now, because we'll come back for your Kyuubi and Shukaku." Tobi told our amazing hero.

"Whatever." Shikamaru sighed. He gave up cloud watching for this!?

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"I just think that Itachi is just spoiled. Hnn?" Deidara pouted.

"Don't talk about Itachi-Sama that way." Kisame snarled.

"Wait. You don't think he plans to attack them when they're sleeping do you?! Oh Itachi, you are evil. MWHAHAHA!!!" Deidara laughed insanely.

"Maybe we should've gone on a safari." Kisame sighed to himself.

"Would there be dead bodies?" Zetsu popped out of nowhere.

"AAHHHH!!!" Kisame and Deidara cried, as they jumped hug each other.

"Dead bodies, no." Zetsu answered himself. And since I don't know exactly how katakana is spoken, I just decided to make sound like Yoda.

"Yoda is fine." Zetsu nodded.

"Fine, he is." He added. Then like that, Zetsu vanished.

"... What a freak, hnn?" Deidara shivered.

"I think I'll go find Itachi-Sama." Then they skipped out to find their partners.

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"Hey guys!" Naruto waved down Shikamaru and Chouji.

"Hello!" Tobi waved, while Itachi sighed.

"Meh, what are you guys doing, anyway?" Naruto looked at them flatly.

"They're on vacation." Shikamaru teased in that Shikamaru way.

"No bodies here." Zetsu popped up.

"Bodies here, no."

"..." The Konoha boys looked at him.

"Springs nice and hot heard I." Zetsu turned to Itachi.

"Yeah." Itachi nodded to him.

"Let's go. I had a long hike, and I could use the time to unwind." Tobi sang.

"WAIT!" Deidara and Kisame came flying out of nowhere, and stopped to look at Zetsu.

"Now what?" Itachi huffed.

"Uh." Both of them stared.

"I'm going." Itachi started walking.

"Itachi-Sama!" Kisame fled after him.

"We're going to the hot springs, wanna come?" Tobi asked his partner.

"Sure. Hnn." Deidara hung his head low.

"The best hot spring in the world." Zetsu added. Then the Akatsuki left to Konoha boys to think to themselves.

"What was all that about, dattebayo?"

"I'm going to see where our back up is." Shikamaru walked away. Gaara walked up to Naruto and Chouji as he passed Shikamaru.

"Hey Gaara!" Naruto chirped.

"Where did everyone go?" He asked.

"The Akatsuki, Shino, Kiba, and Akamaru went to the hot springs, Shikamaru went to see where our back up is, and everyone else is training." Chouji reported.

Gaara nodded, while Naruto looked like he was still bothered with the Akatsuki.

"YOSH!" Lee ran by.

"I'm done!" Kankuro fell down by Gaara's feet catching his breath. "He's insane."

"Fuzzy brows does train a lot." Naruto folded his arms.

"When does the karaoke contest begin?" Kankuro asked.

"Probably the next chapter." Chouji answered.

"YOSH!" Lee made his lap.

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Bikky: Okay, I'm bored.

Neji: Loser.

Bikky: You're just jealous you had one line.

Neji: Whatever.

Bikky: Don't be jealous, be a donut!

Neji: I'm afraid to ask.

Bikky: It's Chuck approved!

Neji: That has nothing to do with anything!

Bikky: I'm sensing some rage issues, Hyuuga Neji!

Neji: I'm done. Leave a review.

Bikky: That's right, cuz it's your destiny, and your destiny to become a donut! all the cool kids are doing it!


	4. Sexy no Jutsu

Bikky: Hey, hey, hey! What's happening? Today, our special guest is Shino!

Shino: Hello.

Bikky: Today we have fan mail. ((reaches in a random bag)) This one is from DogLuver, he writes "Dear Shino, hey man, so what's the deal with the sun glasses? I understand about the weird obsession with your bugs, but bathing with sun glasses on? That's just creepy."

Shino: That's not fan mail.

Bikky: Don't look at me. I just write this stuff.

Shino: I'm not answering Kiba's question.

Bikky: But what if it was a fan girl?!

Shino: Bikky wants you all to know she doesn't own anything in this story, just this crazy idea. She also doesn't own any of those references she pulls out of her head. But she does in fact love when you read and enjoy.

Bikky: Way to ignore me.

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"Make way for Noddy! NODDY! It's time to play. Du, du, du!" Kankuro sang.

"What the?" Gaara twitched.

"What's this song from, dattebayo?" Naruto blinked.

"I believe a children's show." Shino said. That's right. It's on PBS Sprout! My nephew is watching it in the other room. He loves Noddy!

"That has nothing to do with the story." Shino said. I know. But this does! Then something burst in the room.

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!!"

"GAI-SENSEI!!"

"LEE!!!!"

"GAI-SENSEI!!!!!!"

"Okay, we get it." Neji huffed, but the green beasts of Konoha embraced each other in a hug.

"The back up has arrived." Shikamaru sighed.

"You're turn." Kankuro handed the microphone to Deidara.

"We are going on a safari. See the lions from my Temari. Hope we don't get the malaria. Many nice surprises are waiting in the jungle. Girlie, oh girlie." Kisame and Deidara sang in the mic, which caused Itachi to leave a huge sigh of annoyance.

"That's different." Asuma exhaled some of his cigarette smoke.

"Sorry we're late." Kakashi smiled. "An Ichigo cosplayer needed directions."

"LIAR!" Naruto shouted.

"Hey, where did Jiraiya-Sama go?" Iruka blinked.

"Ero-Sennin is here too; dattebayo!?" Naruto knows what that means. Training.

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Itachi couldn't take the amazing Safari song anymore, and snatched the microphone away from them.

"But Itachi-Sama!" Kisame sobbed.

"Your move." Shikamaru told his sensei.

"Right." Asuma moved the shougi piece.

"Why isn't there a women's bath?!" Jiraiya clasped to the ground in his sorrow.

"This is an all male resort." Chouji answered.

"ERO-SENNIN!"

"This is juicy." Kakashi turned a page in his book.

"The motivation to write has left me." Jiraiya cried; ignoring Naruto's cries.

"No!" Kakashi freaked out. His favorite book was in danger of not being completed! He had to do something.

"Naruto, let's do sexy no jutsu!" Kakashi told his pupil.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"It'll help with your training." Neji smirked.

"SEXY NO JUTSU!"

"It's not enough!" Jiraiya cried.

"Sexy no jutsu." Kakashi did it as well.

"I can do that too, Kakashi!" Gai pinged. "Sexy no jutsu!" Gai tried to become a hotter babe than Kakashi, but let's face it, it'll never work. No matter how much Gai is a bundle of joy.

"This is troublesome." Shikamaru sighed, and beat Asuma for the 45,789,348,798th time in a row.

"Might as well join the crowd." Asuma grinned. "Sexy no jutsu!" He could be a really hot babe, but somehow a hot babe with a smoke just doesn't turn me on as much.

"That's because you're straight." Shino spoke up. Yeah, that could be why.

"And don't think of making me transform as well." He added.

"I wanna try!" Kisame danced.

"SEXY NO JUTSU!" Deidara did it before Kisame.

"That was mean." He sniffed. The only difference of Deidara doing sexy no jutsu is, he has boobs. Cuz in the manga as least, I thought he was a she.

"Me too." Gaara nodded.

"Sexy no jutsu!" Kisame jumped in, but sharks can't be sexy. Maybe next time.

"I need a drink." Itachi left the room.

"Sexy no jutsu!" Tobi giggled.

"Teach me the ways, Gai-Sensei!" Lee cried.

"I'm leaving." Neji walked out the door, and close behind him was Shino and Gaara. They're not cool enough to join the crowd.

"Sexy no jutsu!" Lee magically learned how to do chakra and transformed into maybe one of the hottest ones there. Cuz Lee is adorable like that.

"My turn!" Kankuro smiled. "Sexy no jutsu!" Well, let's say he looks better than when his make up is off. Ouch.

"Akamaru, let's do it! Sexy no jutsu!" Kiba transformed as well. Thank the Spartan gods he didn't come out like his mother.

"Hey!" Kiba barked. Not my fault she looks like a man.

"Burn!" Naruto winced. "How's this Jiraiya-Sama?!" Naruto turned to Jiraiya.

Iruka decided he wasn't even going to bother, and went to join his former students and Gaara.

"I need more!" Jiraiya cried. Everyone nodded. It was time to get the rest of the gang on this as well.

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Itachi chugged down the sake. Anything was better then seeing Kisame trying to become a sexy shark. Maybe it was time to Free Kisame! Neji, Gaara, and Shino sat down next to the S-Class criminal. Somehow Chouji and Shikamaru vanished into the scenery, and everyone forgot that they were there.

"Can't you just admit you forgot them?" Shino asked. No! Because I didn't!

"Liar." He pushed up on his glasses.

"And you say you love Shikamaru." Neji scoffed. You boys sure interact with the narrator a lot.

"You're not even narrating!" Neji shot back. Don't make me make you transform AND sing. Neji twitched, but decided not to push his luck.

"Don't you think you guys get a bit side tracked?" Iruka decided some sake sounded good, and went to join Itachi in the drinking.

"It's better than listening to Kankuro singing with his stupid puppet." Gaara twitched at the remembrance of the three day hike.

"FOR THE POWER OF YOUTH!" Gai ran into the room.

"Happy place. Happy place." Neji chanted. Like that is going to save you.

"Gai-Sensei!" Lee cried, and jumped to Gai's side.

"Itachi, you should do it as well." Tobi tugged at Itachi's coat.

"Get off." The Uchiha man twitched.

"Guess there's no other choice." Kiba smirked. Shino glanced at his comrade; fearing what stupid thing Kiba could do next.

"Sexy Gals, time to play beach volleyball." Kiba shouted, and everyone magically had a volleyball court set up.

"Aren't we inside?" Gaara blinked, and noticed they took his sand form his gourd to help make the beach volleyball scene.

"I'm not drunk enough for this." Itachi kicked Tobi to the rest of the gang.

"Oh yeah!" Jiraiya was all ready for the volleyball action. Even if they were really guys he was getting excited about. Creepy!

"To kill or not to kill? That is the question." Gaara debated if he should desert coffin all of them right now or not.

"If you can't fight them, join them. Sexy no jutsu!" Iruka joined the dark side. Or was the side he on the dark side.

"They're the dark side." Thanks Shino.

"Anytime." He turned around; trying to avoid the crazy ones.

"It's not working." Kakashi observed.

"Plan B!" Asuma cried.

"I hear that Hyuuga Neji is a whimp." Kakashi started speaking.

"Yeah. He can't even do a simple transformation." Asuma agreed.

"Some genins." Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"I know! Really! He's not suited to be a Hyuuga!" Asuma started getting his valley girl voice.

"Seriously! That Byakugan is just to cover up his inability." Kakashi would do anything for Come, Come Paradise. Anything.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to Jyuuken your ass." Neji glared.

"Not working." Asuma took a deep puff from his cigarette.

"You shouldn't smoke. You'll get fat." Kakashi turned to him.

"You don't want to ruin your girlish figure." Gai added on.

"Sexy no jutsu!" A random voice spoke up.

"Jutsu of sexiness!" And sure enough, Zetsu popped out of nowhere to become the most beautiful female out of the lot.

"YEAH!" Jiraiya started writing.

"I wish I was blind now." Itachi sighed. His blindness hadn't saved him from those sights. Poor guy.

"Thank God." Neji huffed.

"You're still going to transform." Gai popped from behind Neji.

"That's scary." Gaara observed. He was just glad they were picking on Neji and not him.

"No way." Neji glared.

"Then there's no choice." Lee got into position. Neji could always use a nice fight. Especially when he's the one who wins.

"You're on." Neji stood up.

"Here." Kakashi took Itachi's sake, and chugged it down Lee's throat.

"Dammit." Neji twitched. Drunk Lee was almost impossible to beat.

"OOOOWWWAAAAA!" Lee started attacking Neji. Everyone watched their fight go on, while Itachi cursed Kakashi for taking his sake.

"Take that!" Lee knocked out Neji.

"Winner, Rock Lee!" Kankuro announced.

"You have to transform."

"Transform you must."

"I hate you." Neji grumbled. Don't worry Neji, did you really think you were getting away?

"Sexy no jutsu." Neji huffed, and transformed into a girl.

"You look kinda the same." Gai pointed out.

"It's because he has long flowy hair." Asuma turned to him.

"Now it's Shino-Kun's turn!" Kakashi squealed.

"No." Shino sent out his bugs to fend them off.

"Nice try." Tobi smiled. Being a good boy makes you immune to chakra bugs.

"If you transform, I'll show you my treasure." Asuma put his arm around Shino.

"Girls aren't allowed." Shino glared.

"I have a picture of Hinata in a bathing suit." Asuma bribed.

"What!?" Neji twitched.

"Aren't you a bit old for her?" Naruto asked.

"She's standing next to Kurenai." Asuma showed Naruto the picture.

"Hinata-Chan looks good; dattebayo."

"HEY!" Neji barked.

"Now that's the power of youth!"

"... Why do you have a picture of my team?" Shino asked.

"You think I would give up the chance to see Kurenai in a bathing suit? No way." Asuma answered.

"And why is Hinata-Sama in there as well!?" Neji shouted.

"She walked in the way." Asuma answered.

"... Are you a pervert?" Shino asked.

"No! But I do have one of Kurenai wearing her vest." Asuma pulled out another picture.

"He's just a stalker." Itachi answered.

"I GOT IT!" Kiba grabbed a cockroach. "Transform, or the bug gets it." Kiba pulled out a kunai. Shino twitched, staring down his comrade. What was more important to him, his pride or a cockroach. I know what I would choose, but Shino isn't me.

"... sexy no jutsu..." Shino chose the bug. I know I wouldn't. Sorry Shino.

Then there was only two. Gaara and Itachi exchanged glances. Both of them nodded, and poofed off into the night. Maybe they went to the shadows to Chouji and Shikamaru. Wherever they may be. But you'll find out next time.

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Bikky: And the plot thickens.

Shino: ...

Bikky: Awe! Don't be mad! Hey, maybe you'll get a fan club, which I'll totally be the president of, AND a back story.

Shino: That'll happen once Tenten gets a last name.

Bikky: If you're lucky.

Shino: Just leave a review.

Bikky: A review filled with love!!!


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